Happy new year!
Making commitments is very difficult, but I really want to start forcing myself to stick to them. Like for real this time.
So every Thursday of 2020, I am going to release a blog post. The only instances in which I am willing to excuse myself are:
1: I have limited to zero access to my computer or the internet.
2: I am sick and physically incapable of staring at a screen
3: The entire month of November (in case I partake in Nanowrimo)
4: Christmas Eve, which happens to fall on a Thursday
That's it.
So. That aside, let's get to today's topic.
CATS.
Not the animal. I'd find that to be a much more favorable topic. I'm talking about the movie. I saw it today. I think. The only thing convincing me that I didn't hallucinate the experience is the ticket stub.
Spoiler warning I guess? If you can even call it that? I don't know.
I brought a journal along to the theater with me so I could take notes. I'll just type out what it says, so you know the authentic thoughts that were floating through my mind at the time:
What to say? I promised myself I'd make better decisions in the new year, and already here I am. My first purchase this year. $20 gone to waste. The theater is hot, there is nobody else here except for a couple of unsuspecting middle aged women. I've got my pineapple Hint water, because I suspect water alone just won't be strong enough for this.
The trailers are starting, they've just asked us to locate the nearest exit. Thankfully it's close enough, an escape route could be beneficial I'm sure. People keep entering, we're now at about a dozen total. Poor souls. God save us all.
What am I doing here?
Here goes. No going back. *the movie begins*
Did they just dispose of a body?
She just unzipped her skin.
"MILK!"- Jason Derulo
Thank God Jennifer Hudson has finally shown up.
I think Rebel Wilson cat is dead. If so, that's a relief.
I can't do this.
Rebel Wilson cat isn't dead :(
There's just nothing redeemable about this. Bearable, sure, but redeemable?
The human hands.
I never again want to see Ian McKellen say "Meow meow meow!" thanks.
I'm dizzy.
I just don't get this.
I have a headache. (I still have one!)
5 whole pages of journal content and we are only 50 minutes into the movie. Please tell me this isn't too much longer. Please.
I hate to say it, but it's better than the stage show.
I wish I was 21.
"You will NEVER be my Jellicle choice!"- cool new insult. (This line is the only time I laughed during the movie. It was not supposed to be funny.)
I'm furious but I'm growing to like /SOME/ parts of this.
Alright Jennifer Hudson, kill us all. (Memory reprise. She brought it.)
I think it's over. Please. (It was not.)
Ah. Breaking the fourth wall. Thanks. Please stop.
Good riddance.
*movie ends*
Now, we don't have time to unwrap ALL of that. I think a lot of it goes better without context anyway. But overall opinion?
I mean this, it really wasn't awful. It really wasn't. I enjoyed my time. Thoroughly. Part of that enjoyment was through irony, of course, but there was the rare bit of genuine enjoyment. I'm just... not sure it should exist.
There were some cool visuals (and some frankly quite awful! And horrible CGI failures!), cool choreo, great talent featured. Even some endearing characters (I was shocked how much I loved Mister Mistoffolees or however you spell that.) The plot was WAY more coherent than the stage version.
BUT! This begs the question. Did it really need to be a movie? I think part of what holds the stage version in such esteem is how strange it is. That the experience leaves you puzzled out of your poor mind.
When I saw the filmed Broadway version (or West End version, maybe. not sure.) I felt like I was very high the entire time. I had no clue what on earth was happening. You're immersed in this whacko festival with occasional cool dances or slightly catchy tunes. It all feels suspiciously like an opera, one that's in your native language, but you still really aren't sure what's going on because they keep throwing around words like "Jellicle". You recognize there are some talented people on the stage, but you start to just give up on understanding what's happening.
This movie on the other hand... It was less strange and more just... "why?" You got a sense of everything that was happening, there was even some added dialogue to make it more understandable, and better visuals than the stage could normally provide. But there was still no justification for what was going on. You were just thrust into a world of cat-humanoids and added one-liners tailored to suit James Corden and Rebel Wilson's archetypes.
You understand the roles that everyone plays in the story, but there isn't much time at all for development, because pretty much all they get is one song where the lyrics are just their name sung over a thousand times.
You're expected to accept everything thrown your way. They're eating cockroaches? Cat has abs? Okay. Everything is handed to you, and oftentimes quite easy to understand, but entirely glossed over casually. I'm just not sure it translated correctly on the screen. I don't know.
I can't say I'd recommend this movie to anyone, I can't even say "oh you have to see it for yourself to SEE how bad it truly is." You really don't. Because it's not that bad, or that crazy. It's just not fantastic, or even good. You're not missing out on anything.
I don't even know what else to say. I really have nothing left.
See ya.
Making commitments is very difficult, but I really want to start forcing myself to stick to them. Like for real this time.
So every Thursday of 2020, I am going to release a blog post. The only instances in which I am willing to excuse myself are:
1: I have limited to zero access to my computer or the internet.
2: I am sick and physically incapable of staring at a screen
3: The entire month of November (in case I partake in Nanowrimo)
4: Christmas Eve, which happens to fall on a Thursday
That's it.
So. That aside, let's get to today's topic.
CATS.
Not the animal. I'd find that to be a much more favorable topic. I'm talking about the movie. I saw it today. I think. The only thing convincing me that I didn't hallucinate the experience is the ticket stub.
 |
| In the words of my best friend, "This movie made my cat allergies worse." |
I brought a journal along to the theater with me so I could take notes. I'll just type out what it says, so you know the authentic thoughts that were floating through my mind at the time:
What to say? I promised myself I'd make better decisions in the new year, and already here I am. My first purchase this year. $20 gone to waste. The theater is hot, there is nobody else here except for a couple of unsuspecting middle aged women. I've got my pineapple Hint water, because I suspect water alone just won't be strong enough for this.
The trailers are starting, they've just asked us to locate the nearest exit. Thankfully it's close enough, an escape route could be beneficial I'm sure. People keep entering, we're now at about a dozen total. Poor souls. God save us all.
What am I doing here?
Here goes. No going back. *the movie begins*
Did they just dispose of a body?
She just unzipped her skin.
"MILK!"- Jason Derulo
Thank God Jennifer Hudson has finally shown up.
I think Rebel Wilson cat is dead. If so, that's a relief.
I can't do this.
Rebel Wilson cat isn't dead :(
There's just nothing redeemable about this. Bearable, sure, but redeemable?
The human hands.
I never again want to see Ian McKellen say "Meow meow meow!" thanks.
I'm dizzy.
I just don't get this.
I have a headache. (I still have one!)
5 whole pages of journal content and we are only 50 minutes into the movie. Please tell me this isn't too much longer. Please.
I hate to say it, but it's better than the stage show.
I wish I was 21.
"You will NEVER be my Jellicle choice!"- cool new insult. (This line is the only time I laughed during the movie. It was not supposed to be funny.)
I'm furious but I'm growing to like /SOME/ parts of this.
Alright Jennifer Hudson, kill us all. (Memory reprise. She brought it.)
I think it's over. Please. (It was not.)
Ah. Breaking the fourth wall. Thanks. Please stop.
Good riddance.
*movie ends*
Now, we don't have time to unwrap ALL of that. I think a lot of it goes better without context anyway. But overall opinion?
I mean this, it really wasn't awful. It really wasn't. I enjoyed my time. Thoroughly. Part of that enjoyment was through irony, of course, but there was the rare bit of genuine enjoyment. I'm just... not sure it should exist.
There were some cool visuals (and some frankly quite awful! And horrible CGI failures!), cool choreo, great talent featured. Even some endearing characters (I was shocked how much I loved Mister Mistoffolees or however you spell that.) The plot was WAY more coherent than the stage version.
BUT! This begs the question. Did it really need to be a movie? I think part of what holds the stage version in such esteem is how strange it is. That the experience leaves you puzzled out of your poor mind.
When I saw the filmed Broadway version (or West End version, maybe. not sure.) I felt like I was very high the entire time. I had no clue what on earth was happening. You're immersed in this whacko festival with occasional cool dances or slightly catchy tunes. It all feels suspiciously like an opera, one that's in your native language, but you still really aren't sure what's going on because they keep throwing around words like "Jellicle". You recognize there are some talented people on the stage, but you start to just give up on understanding what's happening.
This movie on the other hand... It was less strange and more just... "why?" You got a sense of everything that was happening, there was even some added dialogue to make it more understandable, and better visuals than the stage could normally provide. But there was still no justification for what was going on. You were just thrust into a world of cat-humanoids and added one-liners tailored to suit James Corden and Rebel Wilson's archetypes.
You understand the roles that everyone plays in the story, but there isn't much time at all for development, because pretty much all they get is one song where the lyrics are just their name sung over a thousand times.
You're expected to accept everything thrown your way. They're eating cockroaches? Cat has abs? Okay. Everything is handed to you, and oftentimes quite easy to understand, but entirely glossed over casually. I'm just not sure it translated correctly on the screen. I don't know.
I can't say I'd recommend this movie to anyone, I can't even say "oh you have to see it for yourself to SEE how bad it truly is." You really don't. Because it's not that bad, or that crazy. It's just not fantastic, or even good. You're not missing out on anything.
I don't even know what else to say. I really have nothing left.
See ya.
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