Why I'm Not Stoked for the Hawkeye Show

W'howdy! (Like "Well, howdy!" but even more southern.)

First post since February! Yayyyy. This is looking to be a long one, maybe even bordering essay territory. So with that warning, I'll just skip the intro section and get on with it.

So Marvel is property of Disney, and they have not stopped reminding us of that. And putting my few nitpicks and criticisms aside, I'd say, fine, Disney+ has some pretty solid Marvel content overall. Next week-ish, just in time to kick off the holiday season, they'll be premiering Hawkeye. (I started drafting this post like... this time LAST YEAR, whoops.)

I guess it's justified that he's getting his own series. All the other original Avengers had solo movies (except Mark Ruffalo Hulk rip) so it's only fair that Hawkeye should get SOMETHING. 

But is he deserving of it? Is he worthy of it? Will it even be good? These are very complicated questions with a very complex answer.

Personally, as the title of this post would suggest, I am not extremely hyped. I could go into excruciating detail about WHY I'm not excited for it, and uh... that's what I'm about to do.

The first prominent reason that comes to mind is because of who's PLAYING Hawkeye. 

Jeremy Renner >:(

First and foremost, it's important that I establish that Jeremy Renner is not my nemesis. My current nemesis is actually the kid with the glowstick powers from Sky High.

Look at him, the smug frick, with his stupid visor and bleach blond hair.

With that in mind, I want to make it clear that I do still have a strong distaste for Jeremy Renner. And not just for the meme of it. There are very, very serious allegations against him. (Renner, not the glowstick kid.) I'll save you the article-diving and just break it down for you. 

... If at all true, this is more than messed up, my friend.

Now, I want to clarify that the point of this section isn't to make you feel like you have to stop liking  Jeremy Renner. It's a chance for me to spew all the reasons why I no longer respect him, and to allow you to make an informed decision for yourself.

I do think that cancel culture can sometimes be a bit too petty. BUT! We can all agree that criminal activity is... well, it's right in the name. It's criminal. Right? These aren't backhanded comments on a talk show, it's stuff he could legiterally do time for. 

James Gunn was (temporarily) fired from production of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, because of jokes he made on Twitter, years prior. And I feel like this is a precedent that Marvel set for themselves. If someone can get fired over edgy tweets... the stuff Renner allegedly did should be an absolute no-no, right???? Let me remind you, we're talking about domestic abuse, substance abuse, etc.  I mean, wow Charlie Brown, talk about double standards.

Don't twist my words here. Gunn's tweets in question were in very very poor taste. I can't express enough how iffy they were, and how much I personally would NOT defend them. (I won't be linking any of them, so take my word for it, or look it up at your own discretion.) But unlike Renner, Gunn took the time to apologize. He showed clear signs of remorse, blatantly renounced his behavior, and proved that he'd grown into someone better.

That's what I wanna see! Redemption arcs! You can still be cool if you've done stupid stuff! You just have to learn from your mistakes and correct them. No one likes an arrogant person who can't face responsibility.

But the way Renner's situation was handled still leaves a lot to be desired in terms of accountability/empathy. I'm not even saying I necessarily want him fired (I mean yeah, that would be great, but...)

I'm just saying I want him to ACTUALLY ACT LIKE HE CARES. Entirely ignoring issues (especially such serious issues,) hoping they go away, or acting like you're above it all? Not cool, and super out of touch. 

[I was gonna say something about what playing a superhero means, and how it kinda, by association, makes you some kid's role model, and how there's a way you have to behave as someone's role model. But yeahh that topic's got way too many strings, including "But is Hawkeye really any kid's hero?" "What about heroes like Deadpool and Punisher? They're not very good role models for kids." "But we shouldn't be putting celebrities on pedestals!" etc. and I don't have the TIME or ENERGY to unpack all that.]

Let me put this in a different perspective. Why don't we do a little roleplay? 

(Betting the analytics will tell me a large percentage of readers clicked away after they read that sentence.)

You be Jeremy (sorry,) I'll be the journalist. 

SCENARIO: You're at a red carpet event, and you know that you're probably gonna have some comments come up about those... recent allegations. But you didn't actually do any of that. You're innocent, and you want people to believe you're innocent. So do your best to reply as sincerely as possible, and restore everyone's faith in you.

Alright let's begin.

This is a matter of opinion, but I have to say, the second option feels like it holds a bit more integrity, doesn't it? My point being, how hard is it to respond sincerely and sympathetically? Assuming you really, truly ARE innocent. 

If you were falsely accused of something, wouldn't you do your best to emphasize your denouncement of the actions you were accused of? How you'd never dream of doing those things? Yet, all Renner has done is laugh it off, dodge the subject, and shift the blame onto his ex. He hasn't given us any real reason to believe him or root for him.

And hey. I'm not trying to be closed-minded here. The accusations could very well be false. Maybe he's just really awkward under pressure, or maybe his manager(? lawyer?) is giving him some questionable guidance on how to handle the situation. Obviously every story has two sides, and it's important to examine both before you jump to conclusions.

BUT. Regardless of if he's innocent or guilty, the fact remains the same: he's shown little to no sympathy for the people who've come forward. It's like he just gets to keep on with his career, practically unaffected by this at all. That's enough to turn my head. Because in the case that the allegations are true? (and not to be biased here, but it sure FEELS like some of them are...) That would mean Marvel is protecting a criminal. 

But why?

Keep in mind, Marvel is not afraid of recasting! They've done it more than a handful of times before! For reasons that suited them, anyway...

And yeah, I guess I get how it could be weird and difficult to replace someone who's been in the movies for like ten years. But hey! They've got this whole whacko alternate-universe arc going on. It's literally never been easier for them to make changes without having to explain them. 

So what is it about Renner that makes him immune to that? What factors in to decide that not only does he get to keep his job, but he doesn't even have to flinch to try to protect it?

He's just so valuable to them, right? Changing the casting would be the one thing that would make people decide not to watch the series? Tell me, does playing Hawkeye (and yes, those are disdainful italics) really protect you? Does anyone really care?

If I surveyed 100 people, right now, how many of those people would tell me they even cared about Hawkeye? Like 12, tops? Now how many of those dozen would actually hold firm that the role HAS to be played by Jeremy Renner, that it just CAN'T be ANYONE ELSE? Half?

So fine, let's dust off that 4th grade math textbook for a minute and put our knowledge of basic fraction reduction to use. That's six out of a hundred people. 6/100 can be reduced in half, making 3/50. That can be halved again, making 1.5/25 

So we're presuming that you could be stranded on a mysterious island with 22 people, a polar bear, and a smoke monster... and only ONE AND A HALF of you (someone + the devil on their shoulder) could even GIVE A FRICK if Jeremy Renner was replaced. 

And yeah, this is a hypothetical statistic, but doesn't it sound awfully accurate?

The thing is, these issues have stayed out of the news enough lately. There haven't been flare-ups. This hasn't caused much bad publicity, it hasn't led to any financial loss... They're not at risk here. So why should they bother stepping in?

You might be wondering why I'm so invested in this. Why make an entire post about this topic? There are a lot of celebrities who really deserve to be taken down several notches, so why single him out? 

Well, there's something that I've neglected to mention, because saying so might make you doubt my credibility or disregard my opinion. But I think I have to say it in order for this post to really click.

See, friends... regrettably, Hawkeye is my favorite superhero.

It's probably actually not surprising to that many of you. Because if you're actually here, reading my unjustifiably long blog post, it probably means you like me well enough, which in turn probably means you've seen some of my past content (oof possibly even aging back to my dark DeviantArt era.)

But in case you didn't know, yeah. My favorite superhero is the bow and arrow guy. (....and yikes this is starting to sound like a Jughead monologue) 

The fact is, I usually flock to the down-to-earth characters, and Hawkeye was always the perfect example. 

Honestly, thinking about superhero origin stories, there are some that it's safe to assume everyone knows. Everyone knows Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider, everyone knows Bruce Banner was exposed to gamma radiation and Steve Rogers was given the super soldier serum. Everyone knows vague stuff about baby Clark Kent being sent from Krypton, Bruce Wayne and the alley outside the movie theater, Natasha Romanoff being a Russian spy, and Matt Murdock getting hit by a chemical truck or whatever. But I'm genuinely not sure if people know much about Hawkeye's origins at all.

It's something I'VE always known a lot about, but that's because I had obscure hyperfixations when I was 13 and somehow had the patience and ability to read through long Wikipedia pages without wanting to die. 

If you don't know anything about Hawkeye's past, let me assure you. The story's absolutely stupid. I'll paint you a picture:

Anyway, I'll stop there before I get MORE carried away, but that's the gist. That's his hero origins. Fascinating, no?

Don't you see? He's EXTREMELY LAME! I adore it.

Now. I will say, putting alllllll that Jeremy Renner nonsense aside, the movie version of Hawkeye is still personally not my favorite. Like, yeah, maybe that's cruel to say, since he's the team member with the family to avenge or whatever. But he's so far been kinda boring, and not as fun as he is in the comics. 

Speaking of the comics, let's talk some more about those.

There's a 4-volume series, created by Matt Fraction and David Aja + various others, called Hawkeye (Yep. Straight up and straightforward.)

This series has been cited as a heavy inspiration for the Disney+ show (and I'm putting extreme emphasis on "heavy" inspiration. There are so many similarities in the marketing materials alone.

And per Marvel's awful "work for hire" deal, the creators only got like $5000 in compensation. Meaning, no matter how successful the movie/show is, Marvel is under no legal obligation to pay them any more than that, and they likely WON'T. This makes me SO MAD, but I'm not educated enough on the issue in pertinence to Hawkeye specifically, so I can't go on a further tangent right now. However, this article does a pretty good job at discussing the unfairness toward comic creators in general.)

Anyway, you can tell I'm passionate about this. That's because I spent the vast majority of my early-teenage "I'm what you'd call a fangirl," "nerdy and proud" phase obsessing over this series specifically. My forbidden DeviantArt profile probably still displays evidence of this.

And guess what? I came into possession of the complete series recently, and I've been re-reading them. And friend, they are. Fricking. Fantastic. This is like the only time I can say with confidence that 13 year-old me was RIGHT about something. 

My love for this series was rekindled so bad, to the point that I even stooped so low as to theme my home screen around it 🙃

Honestly (...and here's where I lose ALL CREDIBILITY...) to this day, I might consider them to be my favorite books (...in fairness I don't really read a whole lot but.) Upon revisiting them, I'm pretty sure they're a big part of what influenced my writing style and shaped it into what it is today. The series is just so well done, so warm and comfortable, so swoon-worthily GOOD.

Like. You don't have to be a comic person. I'M not really a comic person! It's a slow-paced, chill story, with a good dog who likes pizza, a frickin' awesome female 'sidekick' who's actually a better archer than Clint is, a hot clown villain, and really cool representation of disability, which is something that even the movies don't have much of. You just have to have be vaguely into Marvel or superheroes to enjoy it. And I imagine that anyone who's this far down in my blog post has to have SOME interest in that scene, or else they just REALLY LIKE ME.

(fyi, I have a spare copy of Vol. 1 which I got on clearance at Half Price Books. It's my loan-out copy. Take advantage of me. Read it. This is peer pressure.)

Anyway. Back to the tv adaptation. I'm seeing a lot of pros and cons at the same time. On one hand, it means more characters I've loved forever are finally making their MCU debut. It means more lore, more storylines that I'm familiar with will be explored onscreen and in canon. It means I'll finally be able to get merch, when Funko makes their 86 Pop! figures, and Hot Topic makes purple t-shirts and pizza dog plushies or sth. And that's enough to have me stoked. 13 year-old me would combust.

But on the other hand, how can I indulge in these things, knowing that the very same companies advertising the show and selling the merch are snubbing the people who originally made these characters and scenarios and costumes designs and EVERYTHING possible? Obviously it sucks in general that comic creators are treated like this, but it feels especially personal when THIS SERIES WAS MY WHOLE PERSONALITY AT AGE 14. 

Also, how can the show ever meet my standards anyway? I don't even like the guy who's playing Hawkeye. You know, the main character. The guy who... the show is named after. Yeah.

I want to be thrilled!! But uh I know better than that.

This said, let's get on to the final section.

Well, we can complain all day long, but why not be constructive about it? The reality is, we couldn't boot Renner out without having someone lined up to take his place.

I gave this a lot of thought, and here's what I came up with. My top 10 list of people who should be recast as Hawkeye.

I'll preface this with a very blatant disclaimer: I don't trust him. Not in the slightest. That four-fingered fist held high, that random loincloth, that smug 2D grin plastered on his face...

But if it's between him and Renner... well, I think the choice is rather obvious.

He wears purple. He carries a stick. And while a stick isn't quite the same as a bow and arrow, it's... close enough. No one will notice. 

Did I ever watch MASH? Do I even know what it is?

Hardly, and yet it seems almost certain that he'd do a better job. I mean, looking into his eyes, I see a standup man. Trustworthy, noble, honorable. Jeremy Renner doesn't have any of that going for him.

I'll be honest. This is a poor match. Not because she couldn't be Hawkeye, but because she's far too powerful to let such a moniker tie her down. She could be all of the Avengers at once, and more.

That said, we'd be honored to have her anywhere near us, let alone on our tv screens as we watch Disney Plus' new series, Hawkeye.

(Yes this is who I cosplayed for my last Comic Con, shut up)

(in the biz, we like to call him Hawkwheels)

He does it all! Drives, acts, doesn't abuse women. A perfect fit.

There's so many to choose from.

This one's a three way tie. 

I think Tony Hawk could definitely bring a lot to the table. But I also hesitate to say this, because tbh I'm still holding out for him to play the Silver Surfer someday. (Surfing and skateboarding are basically the same thing, shut up.)

Now, as far as the regular hawks go: I've met a few in my lifetime. And though the encounters were short-lived, I can still say with full confidence that I hold them in higher esteem than Jeremy Renner.

Tony Hale's name just sounded good as part of the list.

This one needs no explanation.

So this one may seem a bit niche, and maybe it is. But I assure you, the dude's voice is everywhere. I almost guarantee you you've seen something he's been in.

But I will admit this is a biased choice, as he's featured in a lot of my favorite things, including 2 of my favorite video games. (Hint: one of his characters was brutally murdered with a golf club recently! So cute🥰) 

But stay with me here, as this is a carefully deliberated choice, not just a random pitch. (as if I would EVER pitch anyone randomly.) In fact, he's actually already played Hawkeye quite a few times before:

Now. For clarification, I'm not saying Troy Baker himself should be Hawkeye in the Disney+ show. I still just mean his voice. I thought long and hard about how we could approach this. Should we just cut out Jeremy Renner's voice and have Troy Baker re-dub? No, because then Jeremy is still THERE, which sort of defeats the purpose of recasting.

Should we animate/CGI Hawkeye in there, like Miss Minutes or Groot? It would be alright, but I we could come up with something better. 

 There were a lot of options to consider, but I think I finally settled on something floolproof:

We digitally remove Jeremy Renner from every scene. Just cut him out. We won't have Hawkeye physically present at all. Co-actors will still respond as though there is a human being there - after all, when they shot those scenes, Renner was still in the cut. But now that we've moved past the necessity of having an alleged (and, let's face it, most likely guilty) abuser in our show, it will simply appear as though the characters are delivering lines to dead air. 

That's where Troy comes in.

See, while we may not need Renner anymore, there is still a script, and there are likely necessary lines that would go amiss if we just take Clint Barton out entirely. (I guess cutting out your lead character could yield some confusion? Ugh, go figure.) 

So in order to alleviate some of that confusion, we move on to 

We simply have Troy Baker re-record the script, delivering Hawkeye's lines naturally, as he would any other dialogue in any other voice-acting project. (And like I said, he voice acts in a LOT of things - almost as many as Chris Pratt :D !!! As my philosophy goes: if Troy Baker doesn't voice a character I created at some point in my lifetime, did I really even accomplish anything?)

Now, there's still a bit of a problem. The Disney+ Hawkeye script, being boring and traditional, was likely written with the intention that Clint Barton WOULD maintain a physical presence. Simply adding Hawkeye's lines in as a voiceover without making any changes won't suffice. We'd still be missing some of the action, which deprives us of some of the physical context needed to understand the scene as a whole.

Therefore, 

we tweak the script.

Now stay with me here. We'll just have to spice up the dialogue with a little bit of exposition so everything makes sense. We've gotta really tap in and embellish, making sure to put a special emphasis on the important parts.

For example, let's say the script looks like this:

Well, now that Jeremy Renner has been digitally removed from the scene, it will have to look more like this:

And there you have it. Our soon to be Nobel Prize-nominated solution.

Now, you might be wondering: "Why specifically Troy Baker? Couldn't anyone else do the voiceover?" And, well, technically yes, but emotionally no. 

And now, without further ado, the moment you've all been waiting for. The ultimate reveal.....

Swoon.

Now, now, I know what you're thinking. "But Amanda! He's an A-list actor! He's in very high demand right now!" 

And I understand that. But it's what the people want!

He's a gentleman. He loves animals, he takes care of the environment, he recycles and composts, he respects women and he believes in equal pay. He has an acting prowess rivaled only by the greats such as Sir Anthony Hopkins and Christian Bale, both of whom have roles in the Marvel cinematic universe. 

But I get it. He's a hard one to book. That's why I'm going to offer up an apprentice of his as an alternative. A little bonus addition to the list, if you will... 

Don't let the heavily doctored press photo above fool you, in real life he's actually quite unphotogenic.

Here's a recent paparazzi photo taken of him when he was spotted in June of 2020, shopping for string cheese while riding a skateboard in Aldi without a mask:

His delinquent behaviors are hard to look past. He's quite the scoundrel. He would obviously be a step down from the great Hawkeye Squinkie we all know and love. But we have to trust that Hawkeye Squinkie knows what he's doing. If he sees the potential in this rapscallion, then... well, maybe we can, too.

Besides. At this point, we'll take him. Anyone but Renner.

When I say that Hawkeye is my favorite superhero, that isn't the equivalent of me saying "my favorite Little Einstein is Quincy" (bc duh how couldn't it be?) The superhero genre has arguably been the most impactful genre in my life, so it's not something I take very lightly. (Which... That sounds way more dramatic than I meant it to, but.) 

Like, picking your favorite superhero as a kid is basically deciding your personality then and there. (Or. maybe that's not a normal person thing, idk.) First I had Violet from Incredibles. Then I had Spider-Man, because obviously. Then it was Cyclops (probably because of James Marsden, my first celebrity crush. I stand by that.) And in my formative Yikes teenage years, I settled on Hawkeye. And maybe that's why I'm so worked up about Germy Redditor getting to remain the guy who plays him. He's a character who's got a weird special place in my heart, and it sucks that he's being represented by someone I wanna kick in the groin. Y'feel? 

I don't anticipate that I'm gonna love the Disney+ show. But I'm sure there will be aspects of it that I will love. (Like Hailee Steinfeld as Kate Bishop! And the random Broadway actors who are starring in it!) I'm gonna watch it all, with an open mind. And when it's over, THAT'S when I'll tear it to shreds. I'm not gonna encourage you to watch it, nor am I gonna discourage you from watching it. Not 'til I've seen it for myself. 

I will, however, once again implore you to check out some of the comics and support the magnificent creators who are being stomped on.

That's all I got.