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The Stakes of Love and Murder

Imagine. You're riding on a steam train on a crisp snowy evening. A full porcelain tea set sits on the table in front of you, your handbag beside you. You occasionally peek up through your reading spectacles at the debonair detective sitting across the aisle. Charming man, dressed in a fine suit, newly polished shoes, and a fedora. The two of you continue to exchange subtle glances. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him rise from his seat. He must be catching on to your little bashful game. He approaches, and asks if you mind if he sits across from you. "It's a free country, detective," you reply. He asks how you know he's a detective. He seems confused. But of course, he shouldn't ask such foolish questions. Everyone knows who he is. "Help yourself," you offer, gesturing to the untouched tea set in front of you. You don't see the appeal in tea, no, you're much more of a vodka person. He pours a cup, adds twelve su...

Ranking the people who played Joker

Hey all, I thought I'd list all of the actors who've played Joker in the past 20 years and rank them from worst to best. Sorry if I forget any! -Uncredited voice actor (the Gotham Gals anime) Whoever voiced the Joker in his two-minute appearance in the Poison Ivy episode. I really couldn't leave him out of this list, although I wish I could because I'm sorry to say he just wasn't very good. Perhaps the reason he is uncredited on IMDb is because even he is too ashamed to own up. -Larry the Cable Guy ( Joker 2 ) This follow-up to the 2020 Oscar winning blockbuster Joker was, to put it lightly, a joke. Larry's performance failed to please, and led to a loss of 400 million dollars. -Dylan Sprouse (Arkham Angels) Sprouse played Michael Kelly, a heartthrob gang leader known as "Joker" in this edgy-but-easily-forgotten early 2020s CW series. It was a fresh, interesting spin on the villains we all love to hate. Unfortunately, it was too fo...

Was Cats Good? (Spoiler Alert: Not Particularly)

Happy new year! Making commitments is very difficult, but I really want to start forcing myself to stick to them. Like for real this time. So every Thursday of 2020, I am going to release a blog post. The only instances in which I am willing to excuse myself are: 1: I have limited to zero access to my computer or the internet. 2: I am sick and physically incapable of staring at a screen 3: The entire month of November (in case I partake in Nanowrimo) 4: Christmas Eve, which happens to fall on a Thursday That's it. So. That aside, let's get to today's topic. CATS. Not the animal. I'd find that to be a much more favorable topic. I'm talking about the movie. I saw it today. I think. The only thing convincing me that I didn't hallucinate the experience is the ticket stub. In the words of my best friend, "This movie made my cat allergies worse." Spoiler warning I guess? If you can even call it that? I don't know.  I brought a jour...